"Blessed be Your name, on the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name."

I had such an amazing time at the beach this weekend. I went to Orange Beach and stayed with my family for the last weekend of their spring break. Chris and I went to Pascagoula for a job interview and I just stayed the rest of the weekend with my family after we finished and he went back to Auburn. I think that it went well. While he went and interviewed, I was thinking that I could just wait for him in the hotel lobby because I thought he would be finished by check-out time (10 am). After all, his appointment was at 8am. Well, FINALLY, at 2pm, he was able to call me and tell me he was on his way back to the hotel. I sat there for 4 hours by myself. Lesson learned: get some kind of schedule before you go to the interview if you are going to bring your wife. Actually, the woman at the front desk (Maxine) was very friendly. She was from New Orleans and she kept asking me if Chris forgot me. She finally was brave enough to say "honey, I can call you a cab. I think he forgot about you." I just laughed and told her that I had no doubt that he was going to be able to come back and get me after his job interview. She for sure kept me company those 4 hours. When Chris finally came, she was at the front door waving bye to me with both hands. I like to think that maybe her hope was restored in him by the time I left.

I have been thinking alot this week about how faithful God is to put my life into perspective and show me what it means to really praise Him. Often times, I am so stressed and even angry about how busy I am that I just want to give up. In a house of all girls, when hormones were flaring, my mom would just look at us and say "It's not about you." Of course, it was often followed by a reminder about something we could do for others. It is much easier to get caught up in the bad things you go through than listen to God, and follow His word. Since our miscarriage in February, it has been all I can do to remind myself that it's not about me - it's about what God can do through me. Bitterness and loss are the main emotions I am struggling with right now. I find myself dwelling on understanding why a teenager can have a baby and I can't. I know that "it wasn't the right time," and "my body just wasn't ready," but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I even know we couldn't afford it and we don't even have real jobs yet, but the physical pain that I feel is still overwhelming at times. This week, even when I was being depressed and looking only at myself and not looking up to God, He was faithful to bless me. I heard this song:

Blessed Be Your Name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's 'all as it should be'

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

I had no understanding of the lines "You give and take away, My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name," until I experienced this loss. I know that there is pain in my offering of praise, but I will not forget to praise Him in the hard times. It is my CHOICE to praise Him and more than that, it's the source of my joy.

Keep us in your prayers as we wait patiently for job offers to come in and for Chris to graduate...20 days until he is an Auburn alum!